Mum guilt is a bugger. It’s real it exists and it eats away at each and every mum out there even if they say it doesn’t.
During my week off I have seen so many mums share their guilt about different things. This time of year it’s as rife as flu. It hits each and everyone of us in ways we weren’t expecting.
If one mum feels it and confesses the rest of us think ‘oh shit! Should we be feeling that way too?’ The answer is no. We need to stop this epidemic right now. And unlike the flu there isn’t a vaccine.
“Guilt is like a bag of rocks, all you have to do is put it down”
Let me give you some examples. (I’m gonna try my best not to swear but I’m not promising. Sorry Mum lol) so sit back with your favourite coffee and put those feet up.
- Elf on the bloody shelf!
If you can get away with another year of not moving that pissing (didn’t get very far did I?) elf, every night then do it! If the children start asking (hopefully not) then get them to put it in their letter to Santa for next year! Mama you do enough and things are easily rectified so get away with it as long as you bloody can. I know I am.
2. Your child still doesn’t sleep through!
This is my biggest mum guilt. I need my sleep. Some people can function quite happily on 4/5 hours. Me no! I need at least 8 to be able to put one foot in front of the other. Kids are no different. Some kids need loads others don’t. It’s up to you as their mama to do what is best for them. If that means they play in their room quietly from 5-6am everyday then so be it. As Giovanna Fletcher says ‘happy mum, happy baby’ I used to get so guilty that I couldn’t bounce out of bed as soon as Gaby needed me. I don’t anymore. He knows he can’t get out of bed until his sun comes up (gro clock you are a god send).
3. My kid doesn’t have the newest console at Christmas.
This gets to me. I really wanted to get Gabe a switch this Christmas but have you seen the price?!?!? These companies pray on Mum guilt and that’s how they are able to sell a new console every other year! If you kept up with them you would be skint or in debt till your child leaves home and gets their own job. Don’t forget, it’s not about having the newest most expensive gift they can possibly have. The most important and most treasured gift is those memories you’re giving them. The fun they can have on the day itself with their family.
4. My child has the newest everything.
The flip side to not having the newest thing and feeling guilty, is having the newest thing and still feeling guilty. You’ve seen the posts ‘don’t tell your child that their most expensive present is from Santa’ whilst I fully agree that not all kids in your child’s class will get the same ‘monetary value’ present off Santa I honestly doubt that they are bragging when they go in. All Gabe has asked for is a shadow the hedgehog plush toy. I’m not worried about him coming home telling me Alexandrine has got the new PS5. Do not feel guilty about making your child the happiest ever at Christmas time. It adds to their magic. Please don’t worry about the other children in their class you have enough keeping you up at night!
5. Not cooking a full turkey roast on Christmas Day like the adverts dictate!
Believe me, not everyone is a Gordon Ramsey or Delia Smith in the kitchen. Turkey with all the trimmings is not a must, I promise you. The last thing you need to panic about is spending all morning in your kitchen trying to perfect 👌 those spuds and honey roasted carrots. Quick cheat if that’s what you really want, M&S do a fully prepared roast that you just bash in the oven at the right times and temp. Perfect. If you don’t like turkey with the trimmings then have something you do like there is no rule saying that you can’t have pizza for Christmas dinner.
6. Quantity versus quality.
I really struggle with this one all the time so that must mean it’s normal right?!? I want to get all the things and do all the things but that’s not humanly possible. If you can afford to get a couch full of presents for each child good for you I’m genuinely pleased for you. But please please please don’t feel bad if you can see the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. That doesn’t mean you should feel guilty about it. What you have got is what your child has asked for. I see all these beautiful pictures of all these presents stacked up so high you can just about see the angel on top and it makes my heart soar. It looks amazing. But I promise you now my tree does not look like that. As long as I can cover the trunk up to the first branches I’m a happy camper.
So in conclusion 😂 (I only swore once yay me), mum guilt at this time of year can ruin Christmas. YOU ARE THE MUM, YOU MAKE THE RULES 😂. So don’t feel guilty for that extra baileys at night before bed, or for wanting a chicken tikka for Christmas dinner. We are all in the same boat. We need to make this Christmas just as good for us as it is for the kids. Take care of yourself mama. You deserve it.
What triggers your mum guilt? Pop me a comment below and let me know. I’m sure there will be someone who will feel exactly the same. Xxx
P.S put the bag of rocks down! Preferably outside, behind a locked door so your not tempted to pick it back up.
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