Me and my husband were having a proper chat last night. This lockdown has changed more things than I realised! We weren’t on our phones, the T.V wasn’t on we were just talking. It was a really nice chat. I told him how much I was struggling teaching Gabriel at home and how he needs/wants all of my attention all of the time.
You see I don’t remember having my mum’s attention 24/7 when we were little. I said this to Andy and we started to see a pattern with how things have changed over the generations and I wanted to write a blog about it.
I think it’s because when our children are born, we are told to socialise them straight away. So, we take them to baby sensory classes, stay and play sessions, soft play centres and story times. When we were younger, we had none of that. We had to entertain ourselves from a very young age. Mum had all the washing up to do as there was no dishwashers, she had all the laundry to do and hang on the line as there was no tumble dryers so we had to be patient we knew mum was busy, and we had to play by ourselves using our imagination.
Now things that we want or need are on tap, films are a click away, no longer having to go to blockbuster on a Friday night if we were lucky. Then the arguments me and my brothers used to have over what type of film we wanted and of course we all wanted different ones so we had to take it in turns. Now children don’t have to wait for a week or month for their turn, just until this film ends. They don’t have to wait for mummy to do the washing up it just all goes in the dishwasher, then is put on late at night when it’s full.
We ended up discussing a lot about patience and imagination. I think they go hand in hand. Gabe’s imagination is incredible but he has to be pushed to the point of no return by being patient. If mummy is busy doing work or writing a blog then he has to wait. I have to endure being told he is not my best friend anymore, and that he doesn’t like me very much at the moment. This used to hurt at first. But now I have got used to these little tantrums, I ignore them as much as I can and I know after 5 minutes he’s going to turn around and say he’s sorry for being mean.
To be fair to him this whole thing has come at just the wrong time. He has just got used to going to nursery everyday and seeing his friends. He’s got used to running around and having a bit of structure which has all been taken away now. He isn’t at that age yet where he completely understands what’s going on. I have told him about the ‘germys’ and made them sound a bit cute rather than scary, but this is why he can’t go and see his friends or his grandma’s or pops. He is finding it hard. I have been a bit easy on him but I think that’s made this harder. We have lessons, but its always what he wants to do, I am not forcing him to do something he hates. But the whole structure of school has gone out of the window and that in itself is taking some adjusting.
I am not saying that that is a bad thing at all, he needs the security of me right now, he needs to know that he is safe in our home and he needs to deal with it the only way he knows how. But back to my original point he also needs to learn that he can’t have my attention all of the time.
I am having to teach him patience and self-play. Where I am pretty sure I grew up with those attributes but then again, I had two older brothers who would keep me occupied when my mum was busy and Gabe doesn’t have that luxury. He just gets me. Andy is a key worker so he is now back in the office so it is just me and him all day every day.
I honestly see these posts saying they are glad this happened now and not 25 years ago. Yes, I love the fact that I can face time my mum and dad, that we can have quizzes on a Sunday night and catch up. But I honestly think 25 years ago would have been the opportune time. As the world was different back then. We had more imagination and more patience. We could spend the afternoon with whatever we could find around the house and be happy. We didn’t have the luxury of the iPad or movies on demand. Children’s T.V was only on for a brief period in the morning and at tea time and the rest of the day was mums T.V or films and we knew to go and play if we were bored not wait for someone to entertain us.
What are your thoughts about it all? Are your children wanting more attention? Or are they happy playing by themselves? Let me know in the comments section below.
Equally if you are struggling I have two activity packs that you can use you can find them here.
If you’re needing a laugh, or to send someone a personalised present you can find my huge range of mugs here.
We also have our speciality coffee which will help give you your get up and go every morning xxx